• Nick Hartkop

October 15, 2021 (Reflection)

I am thankful for my partner.

I am thankful for having someone who has supported me in treatment.

I am thankful they show me compassion and acceptance.

I am thankful I fell asleep and woke up next to my best friend.

I am thankful I can feel the fall air.

I am thankful I can feel the warmth of my partner's skin.

I am thankful I can remember what it feels like to be young.

I am thankful I feel embarrassed.

I am thankful I feel ashamed.

I am thankful for regret.

I am thankful for my Rabbi and the conversations we have.

I am thankful for oxygen.

I am thankful for driving through the country.

I am thankful for mountains surrounded by fields of nothing.

I am thankful for the bookstore where we go on dates.

I am thankful for the love I am shown.

I am thankful I can return that love.

I am thankful for the things I have.

I am thankful for the things I have lost.

I am thankful for the journey I am on.

I am thankful for my life.

I am thankful for early morning trips for donuts.

I am thankful for late night trips for pizza.

I am thankful for the education I am able to receive.

I am thankful for the treatment I am in.

I am thankful for the talents I have been blessed with.

I am thankful people listen.

I am thankful for my medication.

I am thankful for my imagination.

I am thankful for the stories people share with me.

I am thankful for the way my life has turned out.

I am thankful that things are going to be okay.

I am thankful that I was born.

I am thankful I feel empathy.

I am thankful I feel anger and understand it.

I am thankful I feel sad.

I am thankful that I am still here.

I am thankful that there is still time for me to do good.

I am thankful for the next chapter in my life.

I am thankful to grow alongside my failures and be more than I was.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for my lungs.

I am thankful for my voice.

I am thankful for my thoughts. The good ones, and the bad ones.

I am thankful I talk to myself and write poems.

I am thankful I can use my words to express myself.

I am thankful for reflection.

I am thankful for healing.

I am thankful for kindness.

I am thankful for my future.

I am thankful I can use my voice.

I am thankful I can understand my mental illness.

I am thankful for the way candles sound.

I am thankful for the way the fireplace smells.

I am thankful for walks in the rain.

I am thankful for holding hands.


I want to be a good person.

I want to have a family.

I want to be a functioning member of society.

I want to help people.

I want to be worth something.

I want to follow my dreams.

I want to make people feel understood. I want for people to understand me.


I am scared I will never be normal.

I am scared of being hated.


I don't want to be a failure.


I will continue to think deeply.

I will continue to think before I speak.

I will continue to better myself.

I will continue to cry when I see people in pain.

I will continue to mourn when I see people die.

I will continue to be empathetic when I see people who need help.


I will tell my partner I love them.

I will celebrate their achievements.

I will model their love.

I will hold them close like they do me and tell them I am there.

I will tell them they are wanted and are needed.

I will whisper that everything is going to be okay.


I will be strong.

I am thankful for growth.


Nick


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