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  • Writer's pictureNick Hartkop

I wanted to make a blog updating everyone on my mental health and how my progress has been going treating my Bipolar and BPD. I have been in treatment now for about 3 and a half years and I am currently living the safest and most stable life I ever have. Something I struggle really badly with now currently is the guilt for being abusive and just an all-around bad person before getting help.

One of the symptoms of my BPD is an intense feeling of being forgotten. I struggle with it often and it's a focus for my treatment currently. I feel like people are going to forget about me because I messed up so badly and no matter how hard I try I won't ever get past the worst parts of myself. It's been making me really depressed and I get into these manic panic cycles like people will stop listening to me and I'll be forgotten about. I want to be a good person and have McCafferty be a safe space for people and be someone people are proud of and can see has genuinely changed and grown.

I know I won't ever return to social media because of how toxic I was on it and how badly I embarrassed myself, but somedays I miss having it and interacting with people and it feels like I am hiding. Being able to interact with people via the contact form has been something really positive and I can barely keep up with the messages I receive. I just don't want to feel sad anymore and I know I shouldn't, but I wish people knew I have a good heart and care about people and that my treatment has truly helped me. I am incredibly thankful for McCafferty, and I just love it so much I never want it to end. If you listen to the music, I promise not to let you down and to be someone that deserves to be listened to. I am grateful for my support systems, and I just want to make people happy. I posted about wanting to play a live show this year, but my mental health is too bad, and I am too scared of being seen by the public to play out, but it's something I miss. I'm just going to continue to put out songs and be the best version of myself and help as many people as I can. Everyone listening helps me because it feels like I have a purpose in my life and won't be forgotten about. I'll have some new songs to release here next month that I hope everyone enjoys, and I hope I can be someone people are proud of.


  • Writer's pictureNick Hartkop

Happy Transgender Day of Visibility! Today has been declared a day to affirm trans rights as human rights, and to celebrate and provide visibility to the achievements made by trans, gender non-conforming, and nonbinary people around the world.

We have a merch line coming in April and for this line, I've decided to give all profits this time around to the National Center for Transgender Equality. This organization provides a wealth of resources for transgender individuals and education on transgender rights. In addition, they advocate for legislation that supports transgender bodily autonomy, equal access to healthcare and employment, action against discrimination, and safety across the lives of transgender people. Their goal is to change policy and create a more accepting world for transgender individuals, and it's important to me that we help them in this cause. If you would like to read more about their cause, please click here.

For more on Transgender Day of Visibility, GLAAD offers some important information collected around critical issues for LGBTQIA+ youth/adults and how to help. You can view more here.

Keep an eye on the blog for updates and I’ll send out a newsletter when we have more information on merchandise. We are preparing the store now and are working to offer a free poster with some orders. More details will be provided soon!


  • Writer's pictureNick Hartkop

Hey, what's up everybody! Episode 3 of our podcast, The Movies We Watch With Nick And Emily, is live right now! You can stream it on Spotify, Spreaker, or directly on the website here:

Website This month, we watched some of the worst movies we've ever seen (we're talking all the American Pie straight to DVD spin offs plus more), and some really good ones too (John Wick 4 I'm looking at you). If you could leave us a review on Spotify, we would really appreciate it! We are up to 12 reviews currently! As always, I'm way behind on emails but plan on getting through some this weekend. Sorry about the wait. Thank you for listening!



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