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The power of love is the most powerful force in the universe, but feels hard to find. We crave it but fear we will never feel it. I feared I would never feel it. I never felt it from my parents, from myself, from my relationships, but I feel it now. I feel its power and what it can conquer. It conquers anger, shame, loneliness, pain and want. How do I demonstrate love? Love that’s more powerful than anything else? It takes all parts of ourselves. Our bodies, minds, and spirits. The energy from the universe. The love we crave when we lay alone at night in our beds staring at the ceiling, wishing to be held.
True love is rare, and it takes dedication and sacrifice. When I was a child, I would lay and hold a stuffed wolf into my chest because I wanted to hold and love something, and now I do that to my partner. The person who hasn’t given up on me and in my lowest moments showed me guidance, education and acceptance, even when I didn’t deserve it.
Love is lying next to someone in their hospital bed, love is rubbing their back while they puke from chemotherapy, love is crying together and laughing together, love is counting the stars together and dreaming together, love is listening to music in silence together in a car, love is holding back tears when you say goodbye and crying when you see each other again, love is a feeling and a smell and a touch and a part of yourself, love is more powerful than pain, love is pain, love is watching your partner sleep, love is holding hands, love is confusing, love is complicated, love is healing, love is everything you want and everything you need, love is saying you are sorry, love is forgiving one another, love is acceptance, love is beautiful.
I am in love and it is beautiful.
Nick