March 11, 2022 (New Song Update/Taking a Break)
We finished recording Salish a few weeks ago and will be uploading it later today. Out of all the songs I have made over the last two years it's my favorite one. To be honest I think it’s one of the best songs I’ve ever made and it means a lot to me and I really hope it connects with people. We went to a new studio for this one because I was looking for a fuller sound for the song. It was a really good day and I hope that people enjoy it. I finally feel like I've made a song I love again which is hard for me to do. Over the last two years I have felt like I was struggling to find my talent again and while I've enjoyed the other songs I've put out, this one is the one I have been trying to find and love dearly.
After its release I will be taking a break from recording for a while. I have been struggling mentally these last couple months and need to take time off from thinking about McCafferty and being active with it. I wanted to release this song before I took a break because I think people will really enjoy it and I feel good sitting on it until I feel like I want to start making music again. Doing McCafferty only works now if I remain healthy, and I need to continue to focus on my treatment and growing as a person. I will still update my blog and respond to messages when I can and I want to thank everyone for listening. This blog means a lot to me and I am grateful to anyone who takes the time to check it out. I want to be a good person and a healthy person, and managing my Bipolar and BPD is a daily struggle, so I need to take time off to focus on those things and being with my family. I have grown a lot as a person and am regretful and feel shame for my past, but I am thankful for the education, therapy, and medication I have been given these last few years and for finally trying to become a stable person. I hate that I was a narcissist in my past, but am thankful for my failures because they led to me finally receiving the help I needed. It sucks looking back at my lowest moments of hurting myself and others and feeling like they define me, but I need to come to terms with the fact that they don’t define me but are a part of my journey of becoming the person I want to be/need to be, even if I wish I could go back in time and change things. I can be better, and am better than the person I was, and I want to start focusing on my future and not obsess over my past anymore. My therapist says I am stuck in a cycle of wishing I could change my past and not focused enough on my future beyond that point in my life, and I want to try to do that. I have had a lot of external struggles and failures, but I will continue to hold myself accountable for the things I say and do and be the best version of myself. I hope it is possible for me to find peace, redemption and happiness. It is something I am actively working towards and I won’t give up on and I want to make other people happy too. I want to use my voice and kindness to help others feel understood. I will post again when the song is up. I think it will connect with people so I’m excited. Feel free to send a message through the site or email email@example.com, I will always try to make sure to get back to you. I know there have been a few inquiries about merchandise and we will try to look into that later in the year. -Nick